Alabama Governor Double Faults

News of the new Alabama Governor’s provocative and unsettling inaugural address
reached me in Melbourne, Australia where I had been blissfully enjoying The Australian Open. The tennis courts were afire with competitive vehemence, psychological one-upsmanship and emotional disarray. But all that was eminently predictable, foreseeable and anything but problematic.

Off the courts all around Melbourne’s colorful and character-filled tennis
venue, spectators from disparate corners of the world were united in a brotherhood
of tennis afficianadoes. Long time foes (actually enemies) like Serbs and Croats
(Novak Djokovic v. Ivo Karlovic) were at ease with each other. Americans, like
yours truly, were not even booed by the heavily Aussie crowd when we cheered
wildly for our countryman(Michael Russell) who was crushing an aspiring young
Aussie player (Matt Ebden). No one squirmed uncomfortably when Russian Dinara
Safina (once ranked #1) was literally demolished by a delightful Belgian (Kim Clijsters).A veteran Japanese player (Date-Krumm) was soundly defeated, but her dignity was unsullied by verbal indelicacies. A Thai player (Tanasugarn) was bludgeoned, but her Americanized-Russian opponent (Sharapova) was gracious to her.

Amidst this highly-charged competition enveloped in international conviviality, I learned that Alabama’s new Governor had –with a fusillade of inaugural verbiage – disavowed me (and countless others) as his Alabama brother. It was then that Governor Bentley’s appalling words - tantamount to a proclamation of socio-religious apartheid- virtually singed my ears.

No, I am not and never was the new Governor’s biological or even emotional brother. In fact, we are, both politically and spiritually, far from being even kissing cousins. But when the Governor disowned me (and so many others) as a brother Alabamian, I was not merely offended, I was also ashamed of him, embarrassed for Alabama and aggrieved as an American.

Sure, tennis is only sport, but it invites ferocious competition. It expects court-controversy which it resolves with instant shot-spot replay. And yes, tennis even contends with on-court verbal explosions like McEnroe’s infamous “You cannot be serious!” and Serena’s tempestuous (but unpublishable) tirade against a line judge. But why, pray tell, would any Alabamian of good-will, good sense and genteel southern upbringing not be inflamed and incensed by Governor Bentley’s intemperate and insulting pronouncement that if one does not hold his Christian belief in Jesus Christ then brotherhood is dead in the Alabama Governor’s mansion?

If tennis players and their fans from across the world can come together in an amicable brotherhood of sport at a Grand Slam tournament, can Alabama countenance a Governor who seeks to discount, demean and emotionally disenfranchise so many good, gracious and loyal Alabamians?

Melbourne, Australia is a lovely tennis venue, but it is not my home. Birmingham,
Alabama has been my home for the last forty years. Sadly, Governor Bentley’s remarks
have now stained my Birmingham residence, tainted my Alabama citizenship and
humiliated me as an American visiting Australia. When next I hear “Sweet Home Alabama” I will have ample reason to loudly shout: “Governor Bentley, you cannot be serious!”

In tennis parlance, the Alabama Governor has double-faulted. His verbal service was a clear fault and his verbal backhand to the people of Alabama was way out of bounds. Perhaps Dr. Bentley should take a verbal-injury time out to reconsider how he double-faulted his way to a love game. He now desperately needs some Divine coaching to restructure his gameplan and save his political match.

After a tsunami of protests, the Alabama Governor tendered a “sincere apology.” Does that mean that he did not mean what he said or that he is simply sorry that he said what he means? No matter, Dr. Bentley would do well to remember that it is not he, but that totally impartial Chair Umpire In-The-Sky who calls all the shots whether they are on an Australian tennis court or in Alabama’s political playground.