My Mideast Martini

Given a geographical orientation in the Mideast, what is dry, hazy,

enticing and intoxicating? Under rational and reasonable circumstances,

the correct answer would be "a very dirty martini."  But.more often

than not, the Mideast is neither rational nor reasonable. So, a very
dirty martini is the wrong answer to my question. 

On the other hand, a very dirty martini is the right answer to the

question of what alcoholic drink did we order upon arrival at our

understated, but elegant hotel located smack dab in the center of

Dubai's financial district? A very dirty martini is the correct answer

to that query. But that geographical location, i.e. Dubai, is also the

answer to my initial interrogatory concerning something that is dry,

hazy, enticing and -for a great many- quite intoxicating. And yet, by

every considered account, Dubai is also neither rational nor reasonable.

Here's why.

For starters, Dubai is one of those geographically and demographically

small entities that comprise the United Arab Emirates. Indeed, the

people who populate these seven separate political entities are

respectively ruled by their own Emir who would otherwise be called

a king by any standard designation.However, it is Arab DNA that 

suffuses the lifeblood and provides the substance that arguably

characterizes the local citizenry. And therein lies the rub.

No, this piece is not an anti-Arab diatribe. But, yes, the rub is

that Dubai, the most well-known, most glitzy and most glamorous 

of the Emirates, is actually not populated by Arab citizens.

Say what? You heard me correctly. But did you really input 

what I said? The operative word is "citizens."

You see, Dubai is Arab only superficially. Yes, Dubai's ruling 

Emir is an Arab. Yes, Dubai's official language is Arabic. Yes,

Dubai's culture is Arabic. Yes, Dubai's street signs are in Arabic.

Yes, Dubai is located on the eastern edge of the Arabian peninsula.

And, yes, Dubai borders the Arabian Sea to the east. 

But, no, the laborers whose hands built the Burj Khalifa,

which -for the moment- is still the world's tallest building, 

were mostly not Arabs. The men who sweated profusely while

assembling the glitz of The Burj al-Arab, the world's only seven

star hotel, were not Arab. The ears of those who tune in to five

of Dubai's seven radio stations are not Arab. The hands of the

artisans who craft much of the wares in  Dubai's souks are

rarely Arab.

In stark actuality, the tongues that discourse as vendors in
Dubai's munificent malls and as salespersons in Dubai's omnipresent
shops do not wag in Arab mouths. The servers in Dubai's restaurants 
and the housekeepers and porters in Dubai's hotels are not Arabs. 

Dubai's taxi and limo drivers are not Arabs. Dubai's legendary indoor

ski slope is not operated by Arabs. And the masses of people who 

empty their wallets to wantonly spend Dhirams (3.8 for a dollar) are

not Arabs. So who are they?  

The short answer is that they are not Arabs. But, you know
that by now. The longer answer is a bit more complicated.
You see, until recent times, Dubai was little more than a sand
and sun-drenched Mideast backwater peeking out into the Persian
Gulf. And, yes, the Arabs still call it the Arabian Sea. But why
quibble about the name of body of water through which a very
substantial portion of the world's oil supply must pass?

No matter, the discovery of oil and gas turned the region
into a veritable gold mine. O.K., so gold mine is not  the
most apt choice of words. But the black gold called oil
-through the alchemy of economics- did  ultimately
metamorphose into Dubai's gold souk and into the associated
glitz and supremely superficial glamor that is modern Dubai  

As a growing metropolis with bundles of cash to spend,
Dubai needed workers. So, the word went out to the east.
In this scenario, the east is synonymous with India, Pakistan
and Bangladesh where there were-and are- much too many people
and much to little cash. What happened was simple. Those without
the cash moved to Dubai to the work to get the cash to send back
to their relatives who needed the cash to survive. All the rest is
commentary.

On balance, the Emiratis are the citizens of Dubai with much of
the real cash. They dole it out to the Indians, the Pakistanis, the

Bangladeshis and to assorted foreign nationals who make up the 

overarching majority of Dubai's population of approximately 

2.1 million not-so-lost souls. Most pointedly, about 51% of all

the people in Dubai are Indian. A great many of them hail from

the Indian state of Kerala.

Additionally, Pakistanis alone comprise about 20% of Dubai's

populace. The combination of Indians, Pakistanis & Bangladeshis 

roaming around Dubai means that, while English is the omnipresent

language of tourism, Hindi, Urdu, Malayalam, Tamil, Punjabi and

Bengali are among the languages most often spoken by those who

actually live in Dubai. 

Another 3% or so of Dubai's residents are "Western" foreignors
from here and there, mostly from there which means the Ukraine,
eastern Europe and/or wherever else there is a shortage of both jobs
and cash. 

Additionally, about 16% of Dubai's population (288,000 poor souls)
live in what is less than graphically described as "collective labor
accommodations." These folks are also mostly  Asians.

The bottom line is that, depending upon whose statistics you rely,
at least 91% or more of those living in Dubai are not of Dubai. 
That means that substantially less than one in ten people living
in Dubai are bone fide, DNA-qualified, Arabic-speaking Emiratis.

So, if you want glitz, if you desperately need to get some
rays or to feel the heat (the temperature hovered around 100
degrees yesterday in Dubai) or if you simply want to witness
how a copious supply of costly desalinated water can turn sand
into a flowering garden of Eden, then check out Dubai. You will
not be disappointed, not unless you also want to hear some Arabic.

 

For that option, you might want to check out Jeddah or Riyadh in
Saudi Arabia. Regrettably, I am persona non grata in that Semitic
nation across the desert from Dubai. But then you may be more
uniquely qualified than I to savor that estimable experience.

 

In the meantime, how does a very nice, very dirty and very 
intoxicating Mideast martini sound to you?